Crap poodle

If you recall, real dogs do not have hairstyles. This poodle sports a full-body hairstyle lifestyle. It is exemplarily crap.

Bottom of the food chain crap dog

Its ears are so large because it has to listen alertly for predators.

Crap begging dog #2

This dog has no bucket so is instead inviting pity through its pathetic facial expression.

Crap begging dog

Real dogs do not beg for things, they take them.

Crap doggies in the window

These crap puppies are for sale, for Christmas. Look at him drinking out of a bottle like a hamster.

Crap tache

Only Hulk Hogan is allowed a moustache like this.

Seal

Real dogs don't look like aquatic mammals.

Gollum

This dog discovered what happens if you wear the One Ring for too long.

Hairless rat terrier

The hint's in the name. Hairless. Rat. Even the twisted breeder who came up with these realised they were crap.

And, as the photo shows, they can reproduce.

Crap ugly dog

This apology for a dog wouldn't even be able to scare prey to death with its face.

Failed dog

Failed people become teachers. Failed dogs become fat pointless dependents.

Clothed crap dog

You could dress a real dog in this manner, but you would sustain injuries in the process.

Crap fat dog

Even large impressive dogs can be crap if their owners stuff them to the point where they can no longer walk, let alone violently snap the neck of a grazing herbivore.

Crap before, crap after

There is more of this crap dog now that it has gained weight, but it has never been capable of taking down an ungulate single handedly.

A wolf

Wolves, not being crap, do not require pink fluffy outfits or dungarees to keep them warm in the snow.

Pink fluffy crap dog

A chihuahua gazing adoringly at its owner photographing it wearing an outfit a seven year old girl would sneer at.

Crap boston terrier

Real dogs do not have eyes which bulge out of their sockets in their eagerness to please.

Crap corgi

The mouths of real dogs do not automatically form gormless grins irrespective of mood.

Waste of dog food

This pug looks depressed because it is wishing it had been born an Irish wolfhound.

Crap dog with crap hair

Nature and culture have both been unkind to this crap dog.

Crap dog dressed as a crap human

Real dogs do not have hairstyles.

World's smallest crap dog meeting world's largest real dog

Gibson is wondering whether it would genetically constitute cannibalism if he were to eat Boo Boo.

Alien infant

Real dogs cannot be lifted with one hand.

Doglette

Real dogs are measured in feet, not inches.