This blog depicts dogs so undeserving of the good name of dog that their proud wolf ancestors howl in outrage and protest from the hereafter

Thursday, 13 November 2008

hail to the crap dog

Clinton's dog, buddy, had a crap name but was not noticeably crap, as shown above. Unfortunately, ladradoodles and cockapoos have been cited as potential future canine presidential companions. Google images project strong swings towards crapness for both.

sad news, crap fans

The world's crappest dog is no more. No more photos, no more videos. The laughter has ended.  

Friday, 31 October 2008

three crap dogs

These cowering incompetents in the field of dogdom were spotted tied to a bench outside a Glasgow deli. The rain adds to their misery.

Sunday, 12 October 2008

crap beardie dog

George here is the pride and joy of his owner, no doubt due to his submissive ear-raising habit. He's also trying to gaze attentively at her for instructions, but his eyes can't quite manage it. 

Monday, 6 October 2008

crap dog of unidentified breed

This crap dog has consented to be carted round in a buggy,  an form of transportation beneath the contempt of self-respecting toddlers.

crap Yorkshire terrier

This crap Yorkie, spotted in Antibes, has consented to be strapped into a harness like a toddler. 

Wednesday, 1 October 2008

crap cottonwool ball

My spies are everywhere. No driveway is safe from their unblinking gaze. No driveways are safe from the unblinking gazes of crap dogs like this either. 

Thursday, 25 September 2008

crap head tilt

Not content with the level of crap already attained through birth as a pug, this specimen demonstrates the crap enhancing potential of the head tilt.

non crap dog

This dog is not crap because it has made itself useful by providing dinner for his or her owner. Instead of grinning gormlessly in pride at its success, it is concentrating on the task in hand, viz, throttling its prey.

crap dog crap

The size of the crap (bottom right) produced by this man's dog corresponds to the the crapness of his dog.

Friday, 22 August 2008

crap scary dog

Voldemort dog

crap dog eugenics

It's not just my artistic interpretations; pedigree dogs are crap on technical merit. They fall outside the medals. They are fail dogs.

Wednesday, 6 August 2008

crap cushion

This crap dog evidently spotted my spy's camera and rolled over to beg for a photograph of its golden fluff.

crap chow chow

Reputedly one of the stupidest dogs in existence, the chow chow was one of the first primitive breeds to evolve from the wolf. So it is now far, far away from the wolf.

Tuesday, 5 August 2008

chihuahua crapness discussed

This chihuahua confronts the viewer with a full-face stare, claws drawn. It strives to transcend its unfortunate genetic inheritance. Its rounded features call to mind the noble bovine.
Unlike the child's toy it is doomed to become, pathetic in the sense of risible,
the puppy is not crap. Rather, it is pathetic in the sense of pitiable.

crap cloned dogs

Dogs have been cloned before, in order to fight crime with the police and save lives through the advancement of medical science. Booger was cloned because he was so good at 'fetching clothes from the dryer and drinks from the fridge, opening doors and taking off her shoes'.

Tuesday, 29 July 2008

Crap dwarf biscuit

Wikipedia says this is a Griffon Bruxellois but it is actually Gimli, son of Glóin's mid-morning snack

Sunday, 27 July 2008

French riviera crap dog

The matching of pink collar to pink cuddly toy would be an admirable effort at coordination, if this were a little girl.

Thursday, 24 July 2008

Maltese by popular request

Appearances can be deceptive. This dog is not Gandalf the White. It is not pure, powerful, old or wise. It is crap.

Real dogs don't melt at room temperature

This dog isn't waving, it is drowning in crap.

Crap Viennese anti dog crap dogs

Real dogs poo where they please.

Sunday, 20 July 2008

Crap floating dog

Can't swim, might get wet

Crap wig dog covers cute. This blog speaks only to crap.

Crap dog on a train

Locomotive lapdog

Crap Slovakian dog

Spotted in a bag on a bus in Bratislava

Sunday, 23 March 2008

Sub woofer

Crap action shot of crap dog in park. Notice the shadow revealing a pert tail.

Monday, 3 March 2008

Which is crapper?

Puglet or pomlet?

Crap cross-eyed pekinese

Wikipedia reveals that an alternative name for the Pekinese dog is the foo dog. This dog is definitely a foo.

Slightly scary pompom

But still crap.

Another crap pomeranian

Are you scared? Are you terrified? Are you shaking with fear?

Pompom pomeranian puppy

This crap kitten puppy would be afraid of a cottonwool ball.

Monday, 25 February 2008

Crap poodle

If you recall, real dogs do not have hairstyles. This poodle sports a full-body hairstyle lifestyle. It is exemplarily crap.

Bottom of the food chain crap dog

Its ears are so large because it has to listen alertly for predators.

Crap begging dog #2

This dog has no bucket so is instead inviting pity through its pathetic facial expression.

Crap begging dog

Real dogs do not beg for things, they take them.

Crap doggies in the window

These crap puppies are for sale, for Christmas. Look at him drinking out of a bottle like a hamster.

Saturday, 23 February 2008

Crap tache

Only Hulk Hogan is allowed a moustache like this.

Friday, 22 February 2008


Real dogs don't look like aquatic mammals.


This dog discovered what happens if you wear the One Ring for too long.

Hairless rat terrier

The hint's in the name. Hairless. Rat. Even the twisted breeder who came up with these realised they were crap.

And, as the photo shows, they can reproduce.

Wednesday, 20 February 2008

Crap ugly dog

This apology for a dog wouldn't even be able to scare prey to death with its face.

Failed dog

Failed people become teachers. Failed dogs become fat pointless dependents.